Sometimes, I have fear. Deep rooted anxiety. And I hate how he betrays me. Constantly. Over. The. Years. And I hate what it does to my soul. Because each time, I lose a bit of myself in my remorse. In my fear of constantly never changing.
The feeling of your heart breaking. I can’t speak. It took me so long to climb through that tunnel to the other side. Again. Again. Now, hearing the truth, I felt nothing. No. No. No. Nothing.
It felt good to tell the truth on my end though. Not as good as last time. I’m sure you’ll hate me more now. What else is new. I’m used to it.
The new year is coming. And so are these changes. You’ll be gone soon. So I’ll enjoy you now no matter how irrelevant it will be. And him. And him. And him.
This weather was in my heart today. When I came home I took a shower and scrubbed the sea out of my bones. I ask you questions that you keep in your pocket and toss out the window like cigarette butts while you drive.
These lies are…horrible. They’ve destroyed my character. There’s too much weighing me down. I need to finish cutting off these ties and free myself.